Who I Truly Am
by YukiaPhoenix
Summary: "I know the organization has already been defeated," Kudo Shinichi said, "But there is somebody still out there who is on their side. Someone amongst us..."
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys! This is my second fanfic, hope you'll like it. **

"_Very good job… my dearest… bloody Sherry…" Gin said in a seductive tone. He patted me on the head, then drew close, too close for my liking. I wanted to scream and stab him and kill him. But I could only watch as he gently pressed his lips to mine. _

"_NOOOOO!" I screamed, jerking awake. I was breathing rapidly, my heart racing. I sat up, and let out a small sigh. I could hear Agasa snoring loudly in the bedroom next to mine. I checked the clock. 6:00 A.M. A stream of light poured in from a slit in the window. I went over and parted the blinds, revealing a spectacular sunrise. It gave me renewed hope just to see the rainbow of colors shining across the sky. It was a dream, I told myself, only a dream._

* * *

><p>"Miyano-san? Miyano-san!" the teacher snapped, tapping the blackboard with her piece of chalk. I jerked back from my thoughts. "What's the answer to this equation?" he asked with a stern expression. I glanced at the equation and said, "the square root of 39."<p>

"Correct…" the teacher said, not expecting me to answer after not paying attention.

"Oi, are you ok? This is the third time that you've zoned out today," Kudo asked me.

"I'm fine," I muttered. I resumed the twirling of my pencil, and went back into thought. _Bloody Sherry… it sounded vaguely familiar, but I couldn't quite remember when I had heard it. My code name is Sherry but why put the "bloody" before that? And when he kissed me he actually stooped down. Did that mean I wasn't in my eighteen year old body in the dream? _It was only a dream, I reminded myself, an insane dream. Yet I just couldn't stop thinking about it.

"Haibara!" Kudo said under his breath, jerking me out of my thoughts, "the last class of the day is over! Come on let's leave!"

"Didn't I tell you to call me Shiho? If you keep calling me Haibara one day somebody will find out about the connection!" I snapped back.

"Those guys in black have been defeated! Nobody's in mortal peril anymore. Besides, I've been calling you Haibara for 3 years. It's not easy to change what you call someone in a matter of days!" he retorted. I sighed. He was right, they were gone. We still didn't tell anyone about them because we were afraid there might be more members that weren't captured, but Kudo really wanted to let the concerned Ran know the truth.

"It's possible to start calling me Shiho if you _use your brain!"_

"Whatever…" He said, leading me out of the already empty classroom and joining Ran and Sonoko, who were waiting there for us.

"There you are! What took you so long?" Sonoko asked in annoyance.

"We had a little argument," Kudo said, rolling his eyes. I gave him a glare.

"Now now, no need to get so riled up," Ran said nervously. I sighed.

"I agree. Come on let's get out of here," Sonoko said. They made their way out of the school and towards their home.

"Ran. I've been wanting to tell you this for a long time, but…" Kudo sighed, glancing at me before continuing, "I wanted to tell you why I was gone for 3 years. You see, I am actually Co-"

"No!" I said.

"Why? I mean it's over, isn't it?" he said. I closed my eyes. That dream… it was just too unsettling. Ran was looking at Kudo with eagerness.

"Go on, why were you gone?" she asked. Kudo looked at me. I unwillingly gave a slight nod.

"Well you see, I was actually Edowaga Conan," and the story continued on and on about the Black Organization and how we defeated them, and with Sonoko and Ran listening, awestruck.

"EHHHHH?" Sonoko almost screamed.

"So you two are actually Haibara-san and Conan-kun?" Ran asked, bewildered.

"Yes," Kudo said.

The questions continued on for a long time, until finally Ran and Sonoko had left, and Kudo and I were walking in silence towards our homes.

"Finally! No more lies!" he said happily. He chuckled to himself. "Everything's back to normal not. By the way, what was wrong with you today? You looked unsettled since this morning. Did something happen?" he asked me. I debated telling him about my dream, and after a while I decided he would only laugh at me and say I was thinking too much.

"Nothing," I replied.

"That's good. Well, see ya tomorrow!" he said, giving me a small wave. I sighed. I was only overthinking this, wasn't I?

"Ah. Ai-kun, you're back. How was school?" Hakase asked when I had entered.

"Quite enjoyable," I managed, then went down to the basement. I flicked on the lights, turned on the computer, and put in the password for APTX-4896. A complicated diagram of the pill's makeup came into view. I had insisted on continuing the pill, to turn it from something that could kill into something that could give new life. I always clung onto the tiny hope that my sister or parents could be revived or something after I finished the pill. I knew it was impossible, but I could at least repent for my sins of creating such a terrible pill by perfecting it into something that could, as Gin had said, "raise the dead". I took a deep breath, and then started typing into the computer.

* * *

><p><em>I was in a dark room, my throat held tightly by Gin's strong hands. In his other hand was a handgun. I gazed pleadingly at Kudo, but he was already badly bleeding from his wounds and couldn't move. Everyone else had gone off to fight the other members of the organization. Sounds of gunshots resonated off the walls, there was yelling and screaming and shouting. I glanced at Gin's devilish eyes and his evil smirk, then the muzzle of his gun, and closed my eyes. Was this really the end for me? I thought.<em>

_ BANG. Gin's handgun was knocked from his hand. It landed on the ground, then skidded to a stop near Kudo. Everyone's head turned towards the origin of the shot._

_ Akai Shuuchi._

_ "I'm afraid this is the end," he said, pointing his gun at Gin. Kudo had managed to grab hold of the handgun and was shakily pointing in at Gin's head. He sighed, then let go of me. I dropped to the floor, feeling my neck, taking in a deep breath. To my surprise, Gin started to laugh, harder, and harder. He sounded almost maniacal. He stopped, and his lips curved into a grin._

_ "May the organization live forever!" He yelled at the top of his lungs, before two gunshots sounded. He stumbled, then dropped to the floor. A puddle of blood formed under him, growing larger by the second._

_ "It's over…" Kudo said, lowering his still smoking handgun to the floor. Footsteps._

_ "We got rid of all the others," a breathless Jodie managed to say. She turned, and her gaze froze._

_ "Shuu…" _

_ I smiled. It was all over. I looked over at Gin's lifeless body. Then I froze. He still had that grin on his face, a grin of victory…_

I opened my eyes. I had fallen asleep at the computer, the cursor line still blinking, waiting for me to type in something. _Another nightmare, huh?_ I thought. It actually wasn't a nightmare, just a terrible memory. That was exactly what had happened the day the organization had fallen. A hard drive was found with all the members of the organization and their code names. All the known organization members had been killed by the FBI, and nobody had been seriously injured from our side. But then why had Gin yelled for the organization to live forever? At that time he should have known his side was already losing. And that grin, so unnerving. Had someone from the organization escape in time? Was he a important person to them? Would he turn everything around? I thought I would die with worry. Just stop thinking about it, I told myself. Go to sleep and you will find that everything is fine. I slipped into my bed and drew the covers over me. Sleep overtook me quickly.

* * *

><p><em>He was standing in front of me again, grinning and patting me on the head. <em>

_ "Very good job. My dearest… Bloody Sherry" I felt a surge of pride as he bent down and kissed me._

_ "Thank you," I said, smiling, then added with a thought, "Gin-sempai*"_

I awoke again, startled. That nightmare! Again! In the dream I had felt so happy. Why? I asked myself over and over. Why? No. I told myself. Having the same dream twice in a row is not a coincidence.

Something was definitely wrong. Very wrong.

**Please review, if you're sympathetic towards an author who just wants an opinion on their story. Maybe you're one of those authors too. Thnx in advance!^.^**

***sempai means superior, or senior in Japanese. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi everyone! I'm back with chapter 2! Thank you **Ninada, XMyLifeIsADisasterX , preciola1213, Miharu Tsubasa **for reviewing! ^.^ enjoy!**

It was a week since my second nightmare, and I had actually fallen ill from worry. My bedroom door creaked open, revealing three 1st grade students.

"Konichiwa, Shiho-neechan!" Ayumi called, "we wanted to come visit you." I smiled at them.

"Come in, make yourself comfortable," I said. The three sat down beside me, and they told me that they actually solved a kidnapping case with the help of the police. I smiled as they jabbered away, Genta adding details that I knew were exaggerated.

"Yo, Haibara, feeling better?" Kudo walked in, and seeing my scowl, said, "I mean Shiho…"

"Maybe you should know that first graders can even remember my name is Shiho, not Haibara anymore, which means you don't even have an IQ of a first grader," I smirked. Shinichi looked away, looking insulted.

"Konichiwa Shinichi-nichan," the three chimed. Ayumi blushed slightly, the shock of her falling in love with a seventeen-year-old, let alone the famous detective Kudo Shinichi was a lot for her to take in.

"Hey guys. Tomorrow's Valentine's Day. You coming to school tomorrow? Ha-Shiho?" Shinichi asked.

"I guess, I'm feeling much better now," I said.

* * *

><p>"Whoa." I gasped at my desk that was overflowing with Valentine's Day chocolates and Get-Well cards.<p>

"Somebody's certainly popular," Shinichi said, "looks like all the boys bought you something."

"Ah, someone gave me a Valentine's Day card," Ran said. "I wonder who it came from, see it says 'anonymous'."

"Of course it's from that detective freak," I teased, Shinichi was blushing.

"Umm why don't you check your cards?" he said, trying to get me off the subject. I sighed, he was right. I pulled a card out of the stack. It was a store-bought card, with a big red heart on the cover that was popping out from the paper. I opened it. "Shiho, will you go out with me?" I started flipping through other cards, reading through them, all of them basically said the same things. "I love you," or "Will you go out with me?" A card that was stuck in the middle of the stack caught my eye. It was pure scarlet, with nothing written on the front. I opened it.

"Although I am dead, Sherry, the organization will arise again, more powerful than before. I will always haunt you for the rest of your life…

-Gin "

I froze, my eyes wide with fear.

"Kudo! If this is your form of a joke it is absolutely sick!" I snapped at him. He turned around, and I threw the card at him. He read it, his face growing pale.

"Haibara? I-I never wrote this…" My face went white. We stared at each other for a long time.

"When were the cards placed here?" I asked him.

"Yesterday early in the morning before class started the boys put the cards here."

"So that means there might've been an outsider who put this here?"

"I guess… Haibara you seem like you knew there was someone still out there that's from the organization…" I sighed.

"It's just my feeling, but it seemed Gin knew there was someone else that escaped alive. He had a look on his face that told me that. And also-"

"What are you talking about guys? You look like you've just seen a ghost!" Ran interrupted.

"Hey if you want to guess which boy wrote the card just ask me, Sonoko-sama!"Sonoko snatched the card from my hand. "Let's see…" she said, and before I could stop her she started to read the card. She looked at me in a quizzical expression. "What in the world? Who's Sherry? I thought Gin was some type of alcohol?"

"Sonoko! Don't go taking other people's stuff without asking!" Ran said, handing the card back to me with an apologetic look.

"Class is starting everyone!" the teacher said, rapping the chalk against the board.

"Haibara, come over to my house today after school. We need to talk," Kudo said. I gave a small nod.

* * *

><p>Kudo's house I had to admit, was very clean and nice, and I would've enjoyed the visit if not for the oppressive matter. Kudo was sitting in the chair opposite me, staring at me, hard in thought. A warm cup of tea was in my hands, and I took a sip and placed it back on the table.<p>

"So Haibara tell me in detail, about your feeling that someone is still out there," Kudo said.

"Well, remember? Gin said that the organization will live forever, but at that time I think only him and Vermouth were the ones alive. The rest were all killed and he knows that. Also he was smiling when he died, that's another thing. And…" I paused. Would he believe my dream? I thought.

"And?" he pressed.

"Well I had a dream that night, a dream about Gin praising me, nothing much," I said.

"O well that's ok. It's just a stupid dream anyways. I don't think we need to call the FBI on this matter. It's too small. A low ranking person in the organization might have escaped and found you and slipped the card into the stack. Just be careful, ok?" he said. I nodded.

"Well I'm off then," I got up and made my way to the front door. Just as I was about to leave Kudo grabbed my hand. I gasped.

"Haibara, really, be careful, k?" he said, gazing at me worriedly. I smiled and closed my eyes.

"Yes I will. But I really don't need someone with an IQ lower than a 1st grader to protect me," I teased. Kudo scowled. I laughed and walked out the door.

* * *

><p><em>I had a gun in my hands. Gin was smiling contentedly at me. He knelt down and patted me on the head. I beamed at him.<em>

_ "Very good job, my dearest, Bloody Sherry…" he purred into my ear. _

I jerked awake. Another nightmare. Why didn't I shoot him with my gun? It would've been so easy! I sighed. It was a dream. A dream in which I had no control in… I glanced over at my clock. 3:42. A.M. Well, tomorrow's a Sunday so I might as well get up, I thought. I made my way over the the light switch, trying not to trip over anything on the floor. I flicked it on and turned around. I swear I almost fainted from fright. On the wall in big capital letters that were red were the words,

"TRAITORS DIE"

The paint had dripped down from the letters, giving it an eerie feeling. I reached for my cell phone. My hands were shaking. I dialed the number, and he picked up on the other side.

"Ku-kudo-kun? You need to co-come. Quickly."

**Yayyyyy! I just luvvv cliffhangies lol… Please Please review, tell me if u like it or no. Thx in advance Anyways, school's going to start for me in a week, so I might not be able to update as often. I'll try as hard as I can though! ^.^**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi! I'm back with chappie 3! I've decided to make two endings, as suggested by **XMyLifeIsADisasterX** . Then we can all be happy!**

The knock on the door made me jump. I regained my composure.

"Kudo-kun?" I asked, trying not to make my voice waver too much.

"Haibara, it's me," he said. I opened the door and he came in, "what is it? Did something happen?" I gave a slight nod, motioning for him to follow me. I led him to the basement where I slept.

"What in the world?" Kudo muttered to himself. He turned to me. "Did you hear anyone entering? Any footsteps? Doors opening?"

"No… I was dreaming…" I said.

"Anyways, I'll call the FBI. It's certain that you are being targeted. Someone loyal to the organization is after your life." He took out his cell phone and dialed Jodie's number.

"Jodie-san? It's me. Kudo Shinichi. Someone is after Haibara's life," he said.

"What? We double checked the listings of the organization's code name list! Everyone was either killed or captured. Anyways I'll send a few FBI agents down to your place. I'm in America now, so I can't come," I heard over the phone.

"Thanks, Jodie-san. I really appreciate it," Kudo replied, and snapped the phone shut. He stared at the writing on the wall, a worried look on his face.

"Kudo-kun…" I whispered. He turned around and faced me.

"It's ok. The FBI agents will protect you. Just be careful and you will be fine, ok?" he gave a forced reassuring smile. I sighed.

* * *

><p>Pain grasped my head as I worked on the pill. My eyesight was suddenly blurry. Stress? I thought. It was certainly possible. A door knock. I went and opened it. A group of FBI agents were at the doorway, with Kudo in front of them. "They're going to guard the house. I'm going to let three of them into the house is that ok?"<p>

"Yes it's fine", I said, another wave of pain hitting my head.

"Haibara. You ok?" Kudo asked me.

"Yes I'm fine," I lied.

* * *

><p><em>Gin was in front of me. He reached into his black trench coat and pulled out a handgun. I looked at him eagerly. He smirked.<em>

_ "Here. Now go, Sherry," he said, putting the gun into my outstretched hands. I smiled and ran off._

The sound of running water woke me up. I glanced at the clock. 5:48 A.M. Was the professor taking a bath at this time? I thought. I got up, put on my slippers and went out. It was pitch black but the light of the bathroom could be seen under the door. There were no sounds of people. Weird, I thought. Didn't Kudo say there was going to be three FBI agents inside the house? They might've decided against it, I decided. I knocked on the door, and pushed it open.

"Hakase, I'm coming in. Why are you taking a bath at this tim-"

I couldn't move. My hands and feet were frozen where they were. I felt the heat leaving my body, my hands, my face, my eyes wide. I wanted to scream but I didn't have the energy. I sank down onto the floor, my eyes still on the scene before me.

My feet were in a puddle of water. I traced it back to its source. The water still ran, making gurgling sounds. Hakase's arm was in the overflowing blood red tub of water. On the curtain were words painted with blood.

"YOU'RE NEXT SHERRY"

I managed to stumble next to him. I lifted my shaking hand to check his pulse. Nothing. He was gone…

"No…" I moaned. There was the sound of a creaking door behind me. My body tensed. _The one who murdered Hakase is still in the house? _I sighed. _Let him kill me too, _I thought. I closed my eyes, waiting. Footsteps were nearing me…

"Haibara?" A voice called from the front door. The light flicked on and I whirled around.

"Kudo…" I gasped. On the floor lay three FBI agents, covered in blood.

"What the hell…" Kudo ran over to each of them, checking their pulses. He then turned slowly to me. "Gone…" he muttered, "All three of them."

"Hakase…" I could not say any more, I thought I could faint. Kudo ran over to me, and saw the dead professor…

* * *

><p>Two hours later…<p>

The red sirens of the police cars and ambulance illuminated the street with a red glow. Police members were everywhere, dusting for fingerprints and taking away the bodies. The other 5 FBI agents were found behind Hakase's house, all dead. I looked at Kudo, his serious face making me nervous.

"This isn't a case of a low-ranking member of the organization. To be able to kill all those fully armed FBI agents and kill the professor, his skill would even surpass Gin, I daresay…" Kudo looked at me worriedly.

"Kudo-kun…" A tear rolled down my cheek. I couldn't contain my emotions anymore. I had lost someone equivalent to a father. I had lost another loved one. He came over and hugged me and let me cry all my sorrow, my anger, my fear, my worry, to him.

Hakase is gone… Who knows who the next victim might be?

**What did I do? I just killed off the professor! Sorry for such a short chapter, but this might be the last chapter before school starts. I have no idea if I'll have time to write then, but I'll see! Review! Please! And don't hate me for killin Hakase… Til next time! ^.^**


	4. Chapter 4

**This is the same as chapter 3 but those who reviewed couldn't do it again so u can review on this chapter if u want...**

The knock on the door made me jump. I regained my composure.

"Kudo-kun?" I asked, trying not to make my voice waver too much.

"Haibara, it's me," he said. I opened the door and he came in, "what is it? Did something happen?" I gave a slight nod, motioning for him to follow me. I led him to the basement where I slept.

"What in the world?" Kudo muttered to himself. He turned to me. "Did you hear anyone entering? Any footsteps? Doors opening?"

"No… I was dreaming…" I said.

"Anyways, I'll call the FBI. It's certain that you are being targeted. Someone loyal to the organization is after your life." He took out his cell phone and dialed Jodie's number.

"Jodie-san? It's me. Kudo Shinichi. Someone is after Haibara's life," he said.

"What? We double checked the listings of the organization's code name list! Everyone was either killed or captured. Anyways I'll send a few FBI agents down to your place. I'm in America now, so I can't come," I heard over the phone.

"Thanks, Jodie-san. I really appreciate it," Kudo replied, and snapped the phone shut. He stared at the writing on the wall, a worried look on his face.

"Kudo-kun…" I whispered. He turned around and faced me.

"It's ok. The FBI agents will protect you. Just be careful and you will be fine, ok?" he gave a forced reassuring smile. I sighed.

* * *

><p>Pain grasped my head as I worked on the pill. My eyesight was suddenly blurry. Stress? I thought. It was certainly possible. A door knock. I went and opened it. A group of FBI agents were at the doorway, with Kudo in front of them. "They're going to guard the house. I'm going to let three of them into the house is that ok?"<p>

"Yes it's fine", I said, another wave of pain hitting my head.

"Haibara. You ok?" Kudo asked me.

"Yes I'm fine," I lied.

* * *

><p><em>Gin was in front of me. He reached into his black trench coat and pulled out a handgun. I looked at him eagerly. He smirked.<em>

_ "Here. Now go, Sherry," he said, putting the gun into my outstretched hands. I smiled and ran off._

The sound of running water woke me up. I glanced at the clock. 5:48 A.M. Was the professor taking a bath at this time? I thought. I got up, put on my slippers and went out. It was pitch black but the light of the bathroom could be seen under the door. There were no sounds of people. Weird, I thought. Didn't Kudo say there was going to be three FBI agents inside the house? They might've decided against it, I decided. I knocked on the door, and pushed it open.

"Hakase, I'm coming in. Why are you taking a bath at this tim-"

I couldn't move. My hands and feet were frozen where they were. I felt the heat leaving my body, my hands, my face, my eyes wide. I wanted to scream but I didn't have the energy. I sank down onto the floor, my eyes still on the scene before me.

My feet were in a puddle of water. I traced it back to its source. The water still ran, making gurgling sounds. Hakase's arm was in the overflowing blood red tub of water. On the curtain were words painted with blood.

"YOU'RE NEXT SHERRY"

I managed to stumble next to him. I lifted my shaking hand to check his pulse. Nothing. He was gone…

"No…" I moaned. There was the sound of a creaking door behind me. My body tensed. _The one who murdered Hakase is still in the house? _I sighed. _Let him kill me too, _I thought. I closed my eyes, waiting. Footsteps were nearing me…

"Haibara?" A voice called from the front door. The light flicked on and I whirled around.

"Kudo…" I gasped. On the floor lay three FBI agents, covered in blood.

"What the hell…" Kudo ran over to each of them, checking their pulses. He then turned slowly to me. "Gone…" he muttered, "All three of them."

"Hakase…" I could not say any more, I thought I could faint. Kudo ran over to me, and saw the dead professor…

* * *

><p>Two hours later…<p>

The red sirens of the police cars and ambulance illuminated the street with a red glow. Police members were everywhere, dusting for fingerprints and taking away the bodies. The other 5 FBI agents were found behind Hakase's house, all dead. I looked at Kudo, his serious face making me nervous.

"This isn't a case of a low-ranking member of the organization. To be able to kill all those fully armed FBI agents and kill the professor, his skill would even surpass Gin, I daresay…" Kudo looked at me worriedly.

"Kudo-kun…" A tear rolled down my cheek. I couldn't contain my emotions anymore. I had lost someone equivalent to a father. I had lost another loved one. He came over and hugged me and let me cry all my sorrow, my anger, my fear, my worry, to him.

Hakase is gone… Who knows who the next victim might be?

**What did I do? I just killed off the professor! Sorry for such a short chapter, but this might be the last chapter before school starts. I have no idea if I'll have time to write then, but I'll see! Review! Please! And don't hate me for killin Hakase… Til next time! ^.^**


	5. Chapter 5

**_I'm backkkkkkk! :D First of all, I would like to say sorry to all of you for waiting so long for this update. 7th grade and fitting into my new school hasn't given me a lot of time to write. Second of all, I've decided to just go with one ending, cuz I'm lazy. ^.^ Anyways, here you go. Chapter 5._******

_Beep beep._

I looked over at Kudo-kun, who was fumbling over his phone with the words "Crap I forgot to turn off my phone" written all over his face.

"Kudo, you should know the rules. NO CELL PHONES IN CLASS!" the teacher snapped, "Now turn it off before it becomes a nuisance!" But Kudo was concentrated on the text message he had just gotten.

"KUDO, DID YOU HEAR ME?" the teacher yelled. Kudo jerked up it his seat.

"What- oh, I'm sorry," he apologized, turning the phone shut. The other students broke into laughter, and he forced himself into a sheepish grin before looking down at his phone in a worried expression.

"Shinichi, what was that message from?" Ran whispered. Kudo looked up and hesitated before saying that it was from a friend. Ran looked unconvinced but didn't ask more. Kudo tore off a piece of his paper and wrote something, then flicked it to me while looking the other way. "I need to have a talk with you. Meet me at the front gate of the school."

I looked at him again, hoping for a better explanation, but he wasn't looking my way, so I gave up and spent the rest of the day wondering uneasily about everything.

* * *

><p>I waved at Sonoko and Ran as they went their separate way home, chatting over a brand new purse that just came out.<p>

"_Now _can you tell me?" I asked desperately, the tension eating up my insides. Kudo, who was quiet for the whole walk from the school, finally spoke up.

"The message was from the FBI, they're holding a meeting today about _that _person who killed Agasa…" he clenched his fists tightly before continuing, "it's somewhere outside Beika, they didn't specify."

"Jodie and everyone will be there?" I asked. He nodded.

"Jodie will be picking us up at my house. Be careful on the way there, that person may be watching us right now," he told me. I shuddered at the thought. "Come on," he said, taking my hand and leading me. We were only halfway there when I felt something. I looked back, but there was no one.

"Kudo, I feel like we're being watched…"I whispered. From his unsurprised expression I could see that he felt it too.

"Let's hurry," he muttered, and broke into a slight jog. I followed him.

"Wait, it's gone…that feeling…" I said. He nodded.

We arrived panting at Kudo's house, and Jodie's car was parked in the parkway. I could see her tapping her fingers in the steering wheel. When we got in, she didn't give her cheery "Hi there!" or a smile. The situation was probably stressful for her too. We spent the rest of the trip staring outside the window, each thinking our own thoughts. It was after some time that weariness overcame me and I dozed off…

_I was running down a long dark hallway, anxiety and excitement overwhelmed me. I carried that small handgun with both of my hands, my footsteps echoing throughout the corridor. I stopped at a door, rusty and black with age. It creaked when I opened it, revealing a large room with computers of all sizes. Two dark figures were at the base of the room. With the light slipping in from the opened door, I saw them turn around, but before they even try to move I raised of the handgun, aimed it at them, and pulled the trigger. _

_**Bang. Bang.**_

I woke up, breathing fast and hard.

"Are you ok?" Kudo asked, watching me intently, "You were sleeping and I didn't want to wake you up." Jodie was looking at me with the same question on her face. I realized we were parked near the curb. We were surrounded by a few buildings with not a lot of cars.

"I-I'm fine," I said.

"Come on let's go. We just got here so it's fine," he said. After we had got off the car, Jodie led us into a dark alleyway. A few trash bins were at the side, and a crow looked through the trash, pecking away at scraps of food. Jodie halted at a brick wall. Kudo and I exchanged questioning glances. She felt around until she came to a small dent in the wall. She pushed down in it with her finger, and a few seconds later a part of the brick wall slid back, revealing a passageway into a deserted building.

"Hurry, I'll answer questions later," she urged, motioning us to go in. The empty office building was old and dusty. Dust danced in the light streaming in from the windows. I suddenly had a feeling that I had been there before. We climbed a flight of stairs, every footstep we took made a mark on the floor from the dust. I realized there were many footprints, all leading to a door on the 3rd floor. Jodie knocked a few times, then pushed open the door.

James was sitting on the sofa, talking to a FBI agent I didn't know. Akai was leaning against the wall with his phone in his hand. Everyone stopped what they were doing when Kudo and I came in.

"Was there anyone suspicious?" James asked. Jodie shook her head, and closed the door behind her.

"I got a slight feeling of it," I said. They all turned toward me. "But it disappeared!" I quickly added, trying to lighten the tension.

"Just to be safe I'll send someone outside to watch for anything suspicious," she said, nodding to one of the FBI agents, who went outside and shut the door. Kudo and I made my way over to the sofa and sat down. Akai snapped his phone shut and joined us. Jodie took a deep breath and began.

"So the matter we are all gathered here for is the possibility that a member of the organization is still at large, someone who the organization has never documented," she looked around at everyone before continuing, "and although this might not be very comfortable for you two, we must talk about the professor's death." She looked at me and Kudo. I felt a pang in my heart, but nodded.

"Eight FBI agents were killed in the night of August 26, the same night of the death of the professor. They had knife marks on their necks, and there were no signs of struggle. This person… he's not just a normal member… to be able to kill all 8 of them without flaw…"her tone showed a little nervousness. "We found no signs of forced entry from the door. Which means…"

"That the person had a key. Only a few of you have keys." Akai said.

"Then… that person is someone who had a key, someone we know…"Kudo muttered. He shook his head. "No… that can't be…"

"Where is this place anyway? I have a slight feeling of remembrance," I asked. They all looked at me.

"You know where this is? We received a text message from Akai's phone this morning. In it was an address, which led us to come here. There were instructions on how to get into this office building. We checked this place out and in the 1st floor there's a number pad on the far left door." Jodie said. "We tried a few combinations but none of them worked. Do you have any idea to what it might be?"

"Take me down there. I think I know." We went down onto the 1st floor, and my head started hurting. I had the memory of being down here before. I looked at the small gray keypad, and the door the stood next to it.

"It should be 4869." I punched in the keys, and a fingerprint verification popped up on the screen.

"If anyone's, it should be your fingerprint that will work," Kudo said. I put my finger on the little pad, and there was the _click _of a lock, and the door swung open.

It was not a room, but a stairway leading downwards. Fear grasped me for what was down there.

"Let's go," Kudo said. His face showed determination. "Don't worry. I'll protect you." He gave me a smile, and we descended the staircase. And down we went. Soon we came to a dark hallway. The light from the floors above was almost gone.

"The light... should be over there..." I pointed to my right. Kudo groped at the wall, and he flicked a switch. The lights flashed and turned on. There were many doors in the concrete hallway, each of which had a number on it.

"This is... a lab of the organization... I remember coming here with my parents when I was young." There was an ominous feeling coming from within the passageway. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my head.

"Are you ok?" Kudo asked. I nodded. "Well then, let's go find that murderer and stop him."

"Kudo! It's too dangerous. I'll go alone ok? That person is targeting me and only me. You three don't need to come. I don't want to put you guys in danger! I don't want to bring any more harm..." I ran down the hallway as fast as I could, the pain in my head growing stronger and stronger. There was a sharp pang, and I collapsed on the ground.

_I was running down the hallway. I stopped at a door, rusty and black with age. It creaked when I opened it, revealing a large room with computers of all sizes. Two dark figures were at the base of the room. With the light slipping in from the opened door, I saw them turn around, but before they even try to move I raised of the handgun, aimed it at them, and pulled the trigger. They collapsed onto the ground. One of them raised his head and said,_

_"Shiho... why?"_

I gasped. I was lying on the cold concrete floor, and my heart was beating like crazy. Those two people were…

My parents…

I looked around. There, on the ground, was Ran. She was unconscious, and her head was bleeding. _Where did she come from? Was she following us this whole time? _Waves of pain flooded my head.

I suddenly remembered everything. When I were having those dreams, they were actually memories from before. I remembered making the bloodred card and putting it in the middle of the stack. I remembered getting up in the middle of the night and murdering the professor. I remembered texting Akai the address of this old lab of the organization. I remembered striking Ran, who was following us all this time. The times I had those memories, were the times that I did those things. I remembered… that I was Bloody Sherry.

Then an unbearable pang of pain came to my head,

And I knew nothing more.

**^.^ Like it? Review plz! . Next chapter will be the last.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello everyone and HAPPY NEW YEAR! The finale of _Who I Truly Am _comes on 1/1/12! **

**Enjoy!**

**Shinichi's POV:**

"Shiho, that baka!" I clenched my hands into fists. "Why did she go alone?" The sound of our feet pounding on the concrete floor echoed throughout the dimly lit hallway. We soon came to another door.

"We'll go check it out, and you stay here ok?" said Jodie in a commanding tone. She and Akai entered the room, leaving me alone.

"Kudo-kun!" Jodie yelled. I rushed in, and there, on the floor, was Ran. She was rubbing her head with a dazed expression.

"W-what? Where am I?" Ran muttered. I rushed to her.

"Ran! What happened?"

"I don't know! I wanted to follow you guys! With all that whispering and secrecy between you and Miyano-san, I felt left out! So I followed you with your tracking glasses, and when I got in here someone suddenly struck me from behind!" She cried.

"Why, Ran? Don't you know it's dangerous? Jodie, can you get her out of here? I'll go ahead." I got up and started to walk out, but Akai put his hand on my shoulder.

"It's too dangerous. Stay here."

_Damn! I can't just stay here and wait! _I thought, _What if Shiho's in danger right now?_

"I'm going ahead!" I shouted, and ran as fast as I could, ignoring Jodie's yells that it was too dangerous. The light started flickering and crackling, and suddenly the lights went out, and everything went pitch black. I blinked a few times, and my eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness. I could make out a shadow in front of me.

"Shiho?" I called, "is that you?" It was clearly her, but her back was turned towards me. I put my arms around her. She was shaking. "It's fine… Everything's ok. You shouldn't have run away! We were all so worri-" I let out a cry of pain. My arm was throbbing with pain, and blood trickled down my wrist. Shiho forcefully pushed me away and turned around. Suddenly the lights flickered and turned back on. With a blood-stained knife in her hand, she was chuckling to herself. Her usually soft and kind eyes were filled with hatred and violence.

"_So we finally meet… Silver Bullet_…" she sneered.

"Shi-iho.." I stammered. "Why?..."

"_Seems like you don't know yet. After all those hints? I thought you were a famous detective_?" she laughed.

"What do you mean?"

"_The relationship between me and Shiho Miyano, of course. I am not the Shiho Miyano you're used to being with_."

"What are you talking about?" I was utterly confused.

"_At least you know some of her personal history. Dead mother, dead father, dead sister, a whole organization after her, trying to murder her. What do you think happened? Do you think she would be able to bear all that pressure and pain? Do you think anyone would be able to_?"

I was speechless. I had never thought of her past before. All I cared about was that she would bring me back to my normal self. "Then what happened?" My voice was barely a whisper.

"_Schizophrenia. And I am her other self. I was the one who sent the card to her. I was the one who killed her dear professor. I was the one who sent the message for you all to come here. And I… will be the one to KILL YOU!_" She lunged at me, and I was knocked down on the floor. I was defenseless… I was a failed detective… stunned speechless by reality. And I could only watch as she raised the knife above my head, ready to strike. I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for the blade to come down upon me. But it never did. I opened my eyes. She was shaking, but she was back to normal.

"Ku-udo-kun… Hurry up.. . and… and… kill me… before… I …" She was breathing hard, her two sides fighting each other in her brain.

"I can't kill you! You're asking the impossible!" I cried.

"_Then die!" _She slashed at me again, her eyes glowing with fury, leaving a bleeding gash in my arm. I ran towards the nearest door, went in, and slammed the door behind me. Inside was a assortment of all sorts of computers. And there, lying on the floor, was a small handgun. I picked it up.

"My my. Looks like you found the murder weapon. And guess who the culprit was?" Shiho emerged from a dark corner of the room. I backed up against the wall.

"What do you mean?"

"You're standing in the same room that I killed my parents in, 15 years ago."

"What? You killed your parents?" I cried.

"It was an order from Gin-sama. I was the organization's secret weapon, Shiho Miyano's dark side, Bloody Sherry." She gave me a malicious smile, and started walking towards me.

"Stay away!" I shakily pointed the gun at her.

"Shoot me. If I die, she will die too." She backed me up into a corner, and I raised my gun up in protection. Suddenly she started to shake again, and went down on her knees.

"Are you ok? Shiho!" I knelt down before her shaking figure. She reached out and pulled the muzzle of my gun towards her body.

"Shoot me!" she pleaded. "Next time I might kill you!"

"No," I said. "I would never kill a friend.

"D-do it…" She was crying, tears were streaming down her cheeks. "Please…"

Maybe it was my sense of self-protection, or maybe it was her pleading and teary voice that made me subconsciously move my finger towards the trigger and pull it back. The bang that resounded off the walls brought me back to my senses at once. My bloodstained hands held her limp figure on my lap. The small red drops on the floor slowly became a puddle. Her face was contorted with pain.

"No…no… NO!" I screamed, gently shaking her. My eyes grew wide as I gradually realized what I had done.

"I'm not dead yet…" Shiho whispered in a weak voice, and a faint smile was on her face.

"Don't die… Shiho… Don't leave me!" I pulled her into a hug. She gently caressed my tearstained face.

"Thank you…" she said.

"Why? I was the one who killed you!" I cried.

"You brought me happiness, Kudo-kun. Something I hadn't experienced before I met you." Her breathing grew labored, and she slowly closed her eyes.

"No! Don't die!" I sobbed.

"Thank you… Shinichi…" she whispered.

"You can't die Shiho! What would I do without you?" I asked her.

But I was only talking to myself… She had passed on… Ai Haibara… Shiho Miyano…

My friend. My companion.

My love.

**Fin.**

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